Guerilla Composting

Well, I am going to give a new recipe today, but not one you might expect. As my title foreshadows, we will be looking at compost today...Just for a laugh.

First of all, I found out from a man in the know that our raised beds are being constructed of cedar. Cedar, as you probably are aware, acts as a natural moth repellent--nice to avoid those horrible, toxic moth balls in our sweaters, of course. But in a garden, cedar works to repel all sorts of insects who might otherwise have desired to lay their future brood near the food source. Better still, there will be no preserving chemicals (as there would be in railroad ties or other treated wood)--and it will just be beautiful, you know?

But how to give this soil what it needs in a respectful manner to our neighbors, without breaking the budget? You see, the seminary nestles in the midst of the most affluent neighborhoods of St. Louis. Unfortunately, we have to work extra hard at keeping up relations with them, particularly in the aftermath of a lawsuit having to do with sharing through roads. Anyway, the grounds come under scrutiny, any new construction has to be approved, and even our sweet little playground needs to look tidy. Toys must not be strewn about the campus. What about orange peels? Egg shells? Potato parings? Onion skins? Wilted lettuce leaves? Think those will pass? Hmmmm.

So, for all those who would like to enrich the soil in a eco-friendly, community-conscious way? Guerilla activity is all there is to it.

Method:

1. Place all easily smashed, chopped, or ground raw food "parings" into a small compost bin in your domain. (Things like coffee grounds, egg shells, smashed up a bit first, onion bits, carrot & potato peel and bits, bits of green veg. you would otherwise not eat---NOT so much banana peels--they are a bit fibrous and tough).

2. When full, transfer a bit at a time into a food processor (unless it is capable of more. I would recommend no more than a cup at a time).

3. Process until matter resembles "dirt".

4. Hide matter in plastic containers that are fairly manageable, allowing to sit no longer than 2 weeks in your home. Then, by cover of night, dig into the soil in the raised beds, making sure to stir organic materials in well, dispersing throughout to a) help the soil stay loose and well-prepared b) avoid detection by having large clumps of "rotting matter" lying around in the "dirt".

Ideal time of year for Guerilla composting: before final frost and planting season begins. After that, compost needs more preparation (achieved in our case by exposing it to the little workers in the soil) so that it will be beneficial rather than harmful to your plants. Coffee grounds, for example, are acidic and can either burn plants or change the pH balance of your soil.

*Smile* Hope you enjoy.