Man, I just got done reading some stuff. Blogs, emails, notes on facebook, one of my husbands' papers and I am just filled to emotional overflow. Not because the things I read were so heart-rending or happy or anything--it's just the way I react.
I see people behind these words, and their struggles and their gifts. I see their children and their parents. I see their stories--the stories being woven into them by the Master Craftsman. I am thrilled, I see hope for the future in it, I am glad.
And I have joy. Bit by bit it is creeping back to me after the hurts, the dark blue and sometimes black threads, of my own story. And I realize that in order to re-capture joy, I must grieve. I realize that the tears and the acknowledgement of pain and the mourning over sin is right and good. It is not right to respond with a desire for life to be fair and just, because that would mean I would be cut down and thrown out--I would deserve justice in the sense of judgement, not vindication. When I get on that track of anger, and wishing for things to be made right, to prove how right I am, it is only a means of escape from truly feeling the weight of the sadness...It is a way to control, impersonalize, and cope--and it is empty and heavy all at once.
...but then my burden is lifted, my chin lifted to look into the eyes of my Brother-Lord, and my hand taken so that I might rise and stand on the secure footing that is Him. And I have joy.
November 30, 2007
October 30, 2007
The "casualties" of childcare and child-rearing
The last couple of days have been, well, "crappy" in the best sense of the word. As in, the days really weren't bad days, I just feel like if there was a dirty bottom, I was cleaning it. Talk about humbling experience.
But each of my "subjects" of cleaning were truly beautiful children, inside and out. These are little boys and girls whose parents are seeking to rear them in the knowledge of the One who loves them more than even their huge imaginations could ever dream. And I'm challenged by that thought--that I am helping to take care of the little ones that Jesus said we must be like in order to inherit the kingdom of heaven.
So what does it look like to be a child? Let me put it through the eyes of my firstborn: she takes it for granted that she is loved; she trusts that she will have her needs met, or asks without guile or fear or doubt for her father/mother to meet them; she dances and plays and smiles with joy unfettered by worry....
...she allows herself to be cleaned up by one who has the power to cleanse her every nook and cranny---even to the most intimate places.
That is the perspective I need to have when I'm tackling dirty diapers.
But each of my "subjects" of cleaning were truly beautiful children, inside and out. These are little boys and girls whose parents are seeking to rear them in the knowledge of the One who loves them more than even their huge imaginations could ever dream. And I'm challenged by that thought--that I am helping to take care of the little ones that Jesus said we must be like in order to inherit the kingdom of heaven.
So what does it look like to be a child? Let me put it through the eyes of my firstborn: she takes it for granted that she is loved; she trusts that she will have her needs met, or asks without guile or fear or doubt for her father/mother to meet them; she dances and plays and smiles with joy unfettered by worry....
...she allows herself to be cleaned up by one who has the power to cleanse her every nook and cranny---even to the most intimate places.
That is the perspective I need to have when I'm tackling dirty diapers.
October 16, 2007
A brilliant autumn soup`
2 butternut squash, halved and seeded
1-2 onions, peeled and quartered
4 cloves garlic
6 cups chicken broth
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon mild curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger (or a piece of whole ginger, thrown in like the bay leaf)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley (optional)
DIRECTIONS
1 Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil.
2 Place squash halves and onion onto the prepared baking sheet. Wrap garlic in foil and set with other vegetables.
3 Roast in the center of the oven for 45 to 60 minutes, until the squash is tender. Remove from oven and set aside until cool enough
to handle.
4 Squeeze garlic cloves out of their skin like paste into a food processor. Scrape the flesh from the squash and place into the food processor along with the roasted onion. Puree until smooth. Add vegetable broth if necessary. Transfer the pureed mixture to a stockpot and stir broth. Season with the bay leaf, brown sugar, curry powder, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil and simmer gently for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cream.
5 Remove bay leaf and serve hot. Garnish with fresh parsley if desired.
We made this when our dear friends came for a visit. I forgot the cream, but it was still fabulous. I hope everyone is getting fall weather now, but if not, maybe this soup will bring it on for you. Serve with a nice salad and some bread. Delicious.
1-2 onions, peeled and quartered
4 cloves garlic
6 cups chicken broth
1 bay leaf
1 teaspoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon mild curry powder
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger (or a piece of whole ginger, thrown in like the bay leaf)
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
salt and pepper to taste
1 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley (optional)
DIRECTIONS
1 Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Line a baking sheet with parchment paper or aluminum foil.
2 Place squash halves and onion onto the prepared baking sheet. Wrap garlic in foil and set with other vegetables.
3 Roast in the center of the oven for 45 to 60 minutes, until the squash is tender. Remove from oven and set aside until cool enough
to handle.
4 Squeeze garlic cloves out of their skin like paste into a food processor. Scrape the flesh from the squash and place into the food processor along with the roasted onion. Puree until smooth. Add vegetable broth if necessary. Transfer the pureed mixture to a stockpot and stir broth. Season with the bay leaf, brown sugar, curry powder, ginger, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a boil and simmer gently for 10 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in cream.
5 Remove bay leaf and serve hot. Garnish with fresh parsley if desired.
We made this when our dear friends came for a visit. I forgot the cream, but it was still fabulous. I hope everyone is getting fall weather now, but if not, maybe this soup will bring it on for you. Serve with a nice salad and some bread. Delicious.
October 05, 2007
to blog or not to blog--my protectionist tendencies come out
You know, I am very up-in-the-air about this blogging thing. I mean, it is a nice, easy way of keeping in touch with people. I can muse on things that I don't mind receiving feedback about, or about people seeing. But I realize that on the whole, I really disagree with the entire concept.
Some friends of mine and I were talking this evening, and it was said that there are two people at the seminary that are criticized in the blogging world more than any others in the PCA (I believe I'm quoting this correctly). These are two people that I feel certain if truly known in an interpersonal, face-to-face manner would not incite such a reaction. They are mild in manner, with nothing attention-grabbing about their looks--in all ways individuals that don't stand out on your radar screen.
And yet, because their words are known, because that which they express externally is easily accessible to a wide audience, they have come under attack. Sure, they are in the "public eye", and are aware that there are certain consequences that come with that. But what does it mean to be the "public"? What is our responsibility?
I guess we have forgotten the lessons we once learned in school about reading objectively and for tone...about not taking offense at the drop of a hat, or making assumptions that are unfounded...about disagreeing impassionately and without seeking to destroy our fellow students/man. Are we so desperate to bump into one another in this technological world of busy-ness (where we don't get much "face time" before moving on to the next item on our agenda) that when given the opportunity we must make it personal? Do we have the right to make it personal when we have no personal knowledge of one another? Can we really read one another and assume that we have the right to speak to one another or about one another? When does it become gossip or slander?
My friend has been studying Bioethics, and it horrifies me to think of the advances we are making in technology with (apparantly) no thought to the outcome. What are the consequences of this age of accessibility, where our thoughts are made available to one another, and where we share a piece of our minds with whomever we feel? Are there any consequences, as we hide behind the indifferent screen of our information-gathering machine and shoot off at the mouth? When do we put on the brakes?
Some friends of mine and I were talking this evening, and it was said that there are two people at the seminary that are criticized in the blogging world more than any others in the PCA (I believe I'm quoting this correctly). These are two people that I feel certain if truly known in an interpersonal, face-to-face manner would not incite such a reaction. They are mild in manner, with nothing attention-grabbing about their looks--in all ways individuals that don't stand out on your radar screen.
And yet, because their words are known, because that which they express externally is easily accessible to a wide audience, they have come under attack. Sure, they are in the "public eye", and are aware that there are certain consequences that come with that. But what does it mean to be the "public"? What is our responsibility?
I guess we have forgotten the lessons we once learned in school about reading objectively and for tone...about not taking offense at the drop of a hat, or making assumptions that are unfounded...about disagreeing impassionately and without seeking to destroy our fellow students/man. Are we so desperate to bump into one another in this technological world of busy-ness (where we don't get much "face time" before moving on to the next item on our agenda) that when given the opportunity we must make it personal? Do we have the right to make it personal when we have no personal knowledge of one another? Can we really read one another and assume that we have the right to speak to one another or about one another? When does it become gossip or slander?
My friend has been studying Bioethics, and it horrifies me to think of the advances we are making in technology with (apparantly) no thought to the outcome. What are the consequences of this age of accessibility, where our thoughts are made available to one another, and where we share a piece of our minds with whomever we feel? Are there any consequences, as we hide behind the indifferent screen of our information-gathering machine and shoot off at the mouth? When do we put on the brakes?
October 01, 2007
"When it rains or it shines...I will lift up my hands to the sky!"
"Why so downcast, oh my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, my Savior and my King."
The words of the psalmist once more reflect where my spirit has been of late, brought to me on the wings of the song by Jennifer Knapp. I have started listening to "Christian" music again, after a long dry spell where I have avoided it, believing that no artist could truly capture the feelings hidden in the deep recesses of my mind. I have been heavy-hearted and disbelieving, and instead of running to His word and to fellowship as means of grace, I have dragged my feet and slunk away or hidden behind a face that tries to show that all is right.
I have found out, however, that too much alone time is as detrimental to those of my personality type (because we spiral downward and crash inward) as is too much time with people. How to find balance, I am not quite sure yet. So often I am thrust into situations with many people with whom I am merely acquaintances, and I cannot bare my soul. Or, I arrive home with my head and heart full, and continue to buzz in my brain, with no positive outlet, and therefore buzz myself to discouraged distraction. My family needs me to be in touch with Christ when I am alone (at home), in touch with fellowship that is nurturing and encouraging when I am out.
This need of fellowship has driven me to pursue getting together the seminary women. I know I'm not the only one who needs this, but I admit this has been so much due to selfish need. I desire, as Dr. Douglass says, to "get into" others' lives, and have others really "get into" mine. I need this depth, this honesty in relationship, and the ability to show this ugly heart of mine to those who can help reflect His beauty into it. I am scared to death of people seeing the mess that is me, but I need to believe that Jesus is my identity, and that even if they see my sin, He only sees His daughter. Oh, to act with the confidence and grace of a daughter, and not with the slinking, approval-seeking demeanor of one who knows no identity but that which she constructs on her own.
But I am not on my own. And I need to stop thinking that I am.
"When nothing satisfies You: hold my hand."
The words of the psalmist once more reflect where my spirit has been of late, brought to me on the wings of the song by Jennifer Knapp. I have started listening to "Christian" music again, after a long dry spell where I have avoided it, believing that no artist could truly capture the feelings hidden in the deep recesses of my mind. I have been heavy-hearted and disbelieving, and instead of running to His word and to fellowship as means of grace, I have dragged my feet and slunk away or hidden behind a face that tries to show that all is right.
I have found out, however, that too much alone time is as detrimental to those of my personality type (because we spiral downward and crash inward) as is too much time with people. How to find balance, I am not quite sure yet. So often I am thrust into situations with many people with whom I am merely acquaintances, and I cannot bare my soul. Or, I arrive home with my head and heart full, and continue to buzz in my brain, with no positive outlet, and therefore buzz myself to discouraged distraction. My family needs me to be in touch with Christ when I am alone (at home), in touch with fellowship that is nurturing and encouraging when I am out.
This need of fellowship has driven me to pursue getting together the seminary women. I know I'm not the only one who needs this, but I admit this has been so much due to selfish need. I desire, as Dr. Douglass says, to "get into" others' lives, and have others really "get into" mine. I need this depth, this honesty in relationship, and the ability to show this ugly heart of mine to those who can help reflect His beauty into it. I am scared to death of people seeing the mess that is me, but I need to believe that Jesus is my identity, and that even if they see my sin, He only sees His daughter. Oh, to act with the confidence and grace of a daughter, and not with the slinking, approval-seeking demeanor of one who knows no identity but that which she constructs on her own.
But I am not on my own. And I need to stop thinking that I am.
"When nothing satisfies You: hold my hand."
September 17, 2007
Long absence...
Wow, how long has it been now? I promise I have a good excuse, or rather excuses, for this long spell of silence on my part. And I need to communicate them all to you guys, because they are prayer requests in and of themselves, so please see them as such, and not as complaints. We are learning through all these things about God's grace and His design for us, but we need your prayer that we would run to Him in them, and not try to figure it all out in our own strength.
Our family has had a few setbacks (some major, some minor, some seeming more major than they really are) in the last couple of weeks. Somehow, jobs have continued to elude us, making everything a strain financially. About a week ago, I got debilitatingly sick with hayfever and what I believe to be a sinus infection (from the complications of allergies). Thankfully, I have still been able to work my few shifts at the Log Cabin (the childcare center on campus--I can bring the girls with me, allowing Chip to study and go to class and work himself), but I have not been up to much else. I am dragging around during the day, and the cool breeze that has been such a respite to us has also been the bearer of molds and fall pollens. Macky and Murmurn have also succumbed to aspects of this weird sickness---Macky has the deep, chesty cough that I am struggling with, and Murmur the drippy nose and itchy eyes and ears. On top of this, she is teething AGAIN and was up screaming her little lungs out the last 3 nights. Macky, too, was up in the middle of the night unable to breath, and Chip brought her to bed with us to try to keep Murmur asleep while she was asleep. This resulted in another interruption to our sleep as Macky kicked and tossed and coughed the entire 2 hours she remained with us. Chip finally had to just put her back in her own bed and risk having both children awake at once....which happened eventually around 5:30, I think. I was too deliriously tired to know exactly what happened. Chip, thankfully, has avoided the sick/allergy combo at this point. Praise the Lord for that grace!
Other than that, I have been waiting to have a background check and fingerprinting done so that I could begin pursuing tutoring jobs in the schools (both public and private) in the area. That was to have happened today, but about a 1/2 hour ago, I received a call postponing it once more until Friday. We have been scrambling to pick up any other shifts around Log Cabin (Chip has been picking up extra hours there too) to build up our paychecks that we will be receiving at the end of October (!!!). Meanwhile, wouldn't you expect, with the addition of Chip's last class (and the one I am auditing with him), his workload for graduate studies (I have to remind myself that this is graduate school, what did I expect?) has increased exponentially. He stays up until midnight most nights just to get the assignments done, much less review that which he must review for Greek in order to keep up with the language. Wow, this is a crazy time!!!
In all of this, however, we have seen his grace and mercy to our family. We are stressed a bit, but Chip is loving his classes, and his professors are truly pastors--they love their students and encourage them constantly. Dr. Jimmy Agan, who most know as "Jimmy", has even said "For some men, making an A in my class [Greek] would be a sin."
Please pray for us that we can have discernment in our choices, not run down rabbit trails with jobs the Lord doesn't have for us, not waste energy pursuing things (studies, jobs, etc....) that need to be set aside in order to love our girls and one another well....
I will post again soon, but for now, I hope everyone is well and I pray that we might stay connected and be objects of His grace to one another for our encouragement.
Our family has had a few setbacks (some major, some minor, some seeming more major than they really are) in the last couple of weeks. Somehow, jobs have continued to elude us, making everything a strain financially. About a week ago, I got debilitatingly sick with hayfever and what I believe to be a sinus infection (from the complications of allergies). Thankfully, I have still been able to work my few shifts at the Log Cabin (the childcare center on campus--I can bring the girls with me, allowing Chip to study and go to class and work himself), but I have not been up to much else. I am dragging around during the day, and the cool breeze that has been such a respite to us has also been the bearer of molds and fall pollens. Macky and Murmurn have also succumbed to aspects of this weird sickness---Macky has the deep, chesty cough that I am struggling with, and Murmur the drippy nose and itchy eyes and ears. On top of this, she is teething AGAIN and was up screaming her little lungs out the last 3 nights. Macky, too, was up in the middle of the night unable to breath, and Chip brought her to bed with us to try to keep Murmur asleep while she was asleep. This resulted in another interruption to our sleep as Macky kicked and tossed and coughed the entire 2 hours she remained with us. Chip finally had to just put her back in her own bed and risk having both children awake at once....which happened eventually around 5:30, I think. I was too deliriously tired to know exactly what happened. Chip, thankfully, has avoided the sick/allergy combo at this point. Praise the Lord for that grace!
Other than that, I have been waiting to have a background check and fingerprinting done so that I could begin pursuing tutoring jobs in the schools (both public and private) in the area. That was to have happened today, but about a 1/2 hour ago, I received a call postponing it once more until Friday. We have been scrambling to pick up any other shifts around Log Cabin (Chip has been picking up extra hours there too) to build up our paychecks that we will be receiving at the end of October (!!!). Meanwhile, wouldn't you expect, with the addition of Chip's last class (and the one I am auditing with him), his workload for graduate studies (I have to remind myself that this is graduate school, what did I expect?) has increased exponentially. He stays up until midnight most nights just to get the assignments done, much less review that which he must review for Greek in order to keep up with the language. Wow, this is a crazy time!!!
In all of this, however, we have seen his grace and mercy to our family. We are stressed a bit, but Chip is loving his classes, and his professors are truly pastors--they love their students and encourage them constantly. Dr. Jimmy Agan, who most know as "Jimmy", has even said "For some men, making an A in my class [Greek] would be a sin."
Please pray for us that we can have discernment in our choices, not run down rabbit trails with jobs the Lord doesn't have for us, not waste energy pursuing things (studies, jobs, etc....) that need to be set aside in order to love our girls and one another well....
I will post again soon, but for now, I hope everyone is well and I pray that we might stay connected and be objects of His grace to one another for our encouragement.
September 04, 2007
Photos for my travelling sis
For those of you who know Rachel, you might want to have a little more info on what's going on with her than she is currently able to post. She is currently in Venice after having landed in Interlaken, Switzerland the first night, then on to Milan, and down to Venice.
This photo is of the 4 who will all ultimately be travelling together. Kerry, Nathan, Leah and Rachel. Kerry is going to be joining them a bit later.
The other two images include my very hip dad and my beautiful mother. Had to show them off.
Anway---That's all I know for now. If you want to leave her a message, you can do so at her blog. She can read it, but she hasn't been able to type due to differing keyboards (differing languages). I'll post more if I can for her later!
This photo is of the 4 who will all ultimately be travelling together. Kerry, Nathan, Leah and Rachel. Kerry is going to be joining them a bit later.
The other two images include my very hip dad and my beautiful mother. Had to show them off.
Anway---That's all I know for now. If you want to leave her a message, you can do so at her blog. She can read it, but she hasn't been able to type due to differing keyboards (differing languages). I'll post more if I can for her later!
September 01, 2007
Soulard & Spontaneity
A little spontaneous decision making on a Saturday is good for any family, in my opinion. We woke up this morning and were out of coffee, which is inexcusable in our family as anyone who knows us will tell you. Now, had we risen in the normal way, with coffee to finish our waking-up routine, the adventure that unfolded for us today would never have happened...
But, it did. We threw a picnic together (because families on a seminary budget cannot afford both coffee and lunch out in one day, or even one week, for that matter), dressed ourselves and the girls (which I really can't believe happened, since only one of us had even had a sip of something caffeinated---Chip had what had been leftover from Macky's cup, and refrigerated) the day previous--and I need to end this sentence it's already become a paragraph unto itself. We weren't sure whether Kaldi's or Northwest Cafe would receive our hard-earned cash this day, and even the decision as to which way we would drive kind of happened of its own accord. I swear the ole "beamer" drove itself, and we wound up at the latter. It could be that the thought of no unwholesome odors of flavored coffee would hit us when we entered was the impetus for our decision, but in our lack of coffee delerium, I'm not sure anything quite so intentional really occurred.
Well, we got our coffee (and I might add that mine was an accidental quad espresso--hmmm) and Macky got her whip cream, and we were off like a shot (pardon the pun). As we began driving down the road once more, the next "agenda" after coffee came from the peanut gallery "I go park today!" Macky piped in the backseat (shortly followed by "I go church tonight", for those of you who used to worship with us at Grace, I thought you should know she was thinking of you). So, to the park we went. On our way, we passed a farmer's market (enter the next agenda, from yours truly). Chip squeeled the tires as he made a quick right into the parking lot where signs sporting things like "grass fed lamb" and "free range eggs" met our eyes. Upon short reflection we realized that we had not, yet, gotten any cash for the day, so this stop would be perhaps a little premature.
Next stop, the bank! Once again little shrill sounds of "I play park?" came from the back of the wagon, so we trickled downtown instead of retracing our steps to the market of Straub's grocery. Chip's first agenda (second, rather, I keep forgetting about all that lay BEFORE the coffee) was that we should go down to see "our friend" the arch. (Macky has a tendency of adopting inanimate objects as friends, I don't know why, but we have encouraged it...). Off to the great gateway to the west we went, and popped out our handy, dandy second vehicle: the jogging stroller (my best friend besides Chip). We took a lovely walk downtown in breezy, sunny morning weather reminiscent of CO summers, and arrived at our shiny, silver destination. After hearing and seeing: a 'honking boat' (riverboat), choo-choo train, helicopter, barge, airplane, geese, ducks, and squirrels, we decided it was time for our picnic. We sat down to chicken salad (Chip's specialty, I'll give you a recipe at the end), pasta salad, cheese, and bread (all eaten with our fingers as I had forgotten forks--no surprise there).
While Macky and Chip did their usual running around thing, Murmur and I quietly finished up our lunch. I was looking down at her, helping her finish up some noodle, when suddenly her little arms and legs started doing their excitement dance. For those of you who haven't seen it, Murmur stretches out her arms and legs as far as they will go, tensing up her muscles and widening her eyes and smiling all at the same time when she gets worked up about something. I had a baseball cap on, so I hadn't seen the squirrel approach, but when I looked up to see what had caught her attention, I glimpsed him. One of the little guys we had seen when choosing our picnic spot had seen me feeding my little one and decided I must be ok. I mean, what a cool deal that he had been checking us out, watching me nurture my child, and thought "this person won't hurt me". Anyway, the result was that even after Chip and Macky (the wild child) came back over, he was very bold in coming right up near us to check out our rye bread [thanks to free bread] and taste a little tomato that had dropped on the grass. The culmination of his visit with us was when he snuck around the back of us (to avoid Wild Child) and took a piece of bread right out of my fingers. What a cool little guy. I made a motion that we christen him Daring, but Macky just said "No, I don't think so." So we left it at that.
[Sidenote: don't you know that God's creatures find us interesting? That His creation is as relational as He is? That we reflect His image, that we are supposed to be their caretakers, that we have a broken relationship with animals just as much as with one another....all of that comes home to me in times like that, and I realize that part of having a "new earth" will mean renewed interaction with God's creatures BEYOND humans as well...]
By this time, Murmur was getting tired. It was twelve, and the church bells downtown rang (bells, bells! my wild child said) so we began walking back to the car, trying to figure out our next move. Murmur moved for a nap. So with her asleep, I decided to walk the mile or so down Broadway to Soulard, while Chip and Macky drove on ahead to find a potty. I love walking. I need to remember to do it more often (like, when I'm in a funk, which is all too often....friends, countrymen, lend me your acountability, if you see me/hear me in a funk, remind me to GO FOR A WALK). After my walk, I arrived at the bursting-at-the-seams farmer's market that is Soulard. It was about 12:45 at this point, which is time that some of the vendors are cleaning up and making deals. We got 2lbs of grapes for $1, 3lbs of onions for $2 and, the high point of our trip, 25lbs of roma tomatoes for $7 (and I could have gotten twice that much for $10!).
Now you may be asking yourself, what the heck is she going to do with that many tomatoes? The answer is: no, I didn't just buy them 'cause it was such a good deal, I will be canning with my downstairs neighbor. We have been trying to be home economists and put aside spagetti sauce, canned tomatoes, peaches, and applesauce (down the road a bit) for the winter....Nothing like trying to put husbands through school, rear children, try and take some classes ourselves, etc to inspire you to....do more? But that is Jen and me.
We are home now, and I am very pleased with myself, if you can't tell. We had a marvelous morning/afternoon and I have two exhausted young girls napping (still!) since 3pm (it is now 5pm). And it's Saturday night, so you know what that means....
Here's Chip's Chicken Salad:
2 rotisserie chickens, deboned (shredded, or if you have a kitchen aid, see below)
1-2 tart apples, chopped
chopped celery (to taste)
chopped onion (to taste)
1/2 cup sunflower seeds (salted and roasted are best, then you don't have to salt it all)
1 cup raisins or halved grapes
1 cup mayo (for those of you who do not like the M word, try a little olive oil to moisten, and perhaps a little grainy mustard, which would be lovely with the grapes and apples)
Freshly ground pepper
Chip likes to throw it all into our Kitchen Aid and mix it until it is super-pulverised, making it perfect for kiddos Murmur's age to eat--and she loves it, let me tell you!).
But, it did. We threw a picnic together (because families on a seminary budget cannot afford both coffee and lunch out in one day, or even one week, for that matter), dressed ourselves and the girls (which I really can't believe happened, since only one of us had even had a sip of something caffeinated---Chip had what had been leftover from Macky's cup, and refrigerated) the day previous--and I need to end this sentence it's already become a paragraph unto itself. We weren't sure whether Kaldi's or Northwest Cafe would receive our hard-earned cash this day, and even the decision as to which way we would drive kind of happened of its own accord. I swear the ole "beamer" drove itself, and we wound up at the latter. It could be that the thought of no unwholesome odors of flavored coffee would hit us when we entered was the impetus for our decision, but in our lack of coffee delerium, I'm not sure anything quite so intentional really occurred.
Well, we got our coffee (and I might add that mine was an accidental quad espresso--hmmm) and Macky got her whip cream, and we were off like a shot (pardon the pun). As we began driving down the road once more, the next "agenda" after coffee came from the peanut gallery "I go park today!" Macky piped in the backseat (shortly followed by "I go church tonight", for those of you who used to worship with us at Grace, I thought you should know she was thinking of you). So, to the park we went. On our way, we passed a farmer's market (enter the next agenda, from yours truly). Chip squeeled the tires as he made a quick right into the parking lot where signs sporting things like "grass fed lamb" and "free range eggs" met our eyes. Upon short reflection we realized that we had not, yet, gotten any cash for the day, so this stop would be perhaps a little premature.
Next stop, the bank! Once again little shrill sounds of "I play park?" came from the back of the wagon, so we trickled downtown instead of retracing our steps to the market of Straub's grocery. Chip's first agenda (second, rather, I keep forgetting about all that lay BEFORE the coffee) was that we should go down to see "our friend" the arch. (Macky has a tendency of adopting inanimate objects as friends, I don't know why, but we have encouraged it...). Off to the great gateway to the west we went, and popped out our handy, dandy second vehicle: the jogging stroller (my best friend besides Chip). We took a lovely walk downtown in breezy, sunny morning weather reminiscent of CO summers, and arrived at our shiny, silver destination. After hearing and seeing: a 'honking boat' (riverboat), choo-choo train, helicopter, barge, airplane, geese, ducks, and squirrels, we decided it was time for our picnic. We sat down to chicken salad (Chip's specialty, I'll give you a recipe at the end), pasta salad, cheese, and bread (all eaten with our fingers as I had forgotten forks--no surprise there).
While Macky and Chip did their usual running around thing, Murmur and I quietly finished up our lunch. I was looking down at her, helping her finish up some noodle, when suddenly her little arms and legs started doing their excitement dance. For those of you who haven't seen it, Murmur stretches out her arms and legs as far as they will go, tensing up her muscles and widening her eyes and smiling all at the same time when she gets worked up about something. I had a baseball cap on, so I hadn't seen the squirrel approach, but when I looked up to see what had caught her attention, I glimpsed him. One of the little guys we had seen when choosing our picnic spot had seen me feeding my little one and decided I must be ok. I mean, what a cool deal that he had been checking us out, watching me nurture my child, and thought "this person won't hurt me". Anyway, the result was that even after Chip and Macky (the wild child) came back over, he was very bold in coming right up near us to check out our rye bread [thanks to free bread] and taste a little tomato that had dropped on the grass. The culmination of his visit with us was when he snuck around the back of us (to avoid Wild Child) and took a piece of bread right out of my fingers. What a cool little guy. I made a motion that we christen him Daring, but Macky just said "No, I don't think so." So we left it at that.
[Sidenote: don't you know that God's creatures find us interesting? That His creation is as relational as He is? That we reflect His image, that we are supposed to be their caretakers, that we have a broken relationship with animals just as much as with one another....all of that comes home to me in times like that, and I realize that part of having a "new earth" will mean renewed interaction with God's creatures BEYOND humans as well...]
By this time, Murmur was getting tired. It was twelve, and the church bells downtown rang (bells, bells! my wild child said) so we began walking back to the car, trying to figure out our next move. Murmur moved for a nap. So with her asleep, I decided to walk the mile or so down Broadway to Soulard, while Chip and Macky drove on ahead to find a potty. I love walking. I need to remember to do it more often (like, when I'm in a funk, which is all too often....friends, countrymen, lend me your acountability, if you see me/hear me in a funk, remind me to GO FOR A WALK). After my walk, I arrived at the bursting-at-the-seams farmer's market that is Soulard. It was about 12:45 at this point, which is time that some of the vendors are cleaning up and making deals. We got 2lbs of grapes for $1, 3lbs of onions for $2 and, the high point of our trip, 25lbs of roma tomatoes for $7 (and I could have gotten twice that much for $10!).
Now you may be asking yourself, what the heck is she going to do with that many tomatoes? The answer is: no, I didn't just buy them 'cause it was such a good deal, I will be canning with my downstairs neighbor. We have been trying to be home economists and put aside spagetti sauce, canned tomatoes, peaches, and applesauce (down the road a bit) for the winter....Nothing like trying to put husbands through school, rear children, try and take some classes ourselves, etc to inspire you to....do more? But that is Jen and me.
We are home now, and I am very pleased with myself, if you can't tell. We had a marvelous morning/afternoon and I have two exhausted young girls napping (still!) since 3pm (it is now 5pm). And it's Saturday night, so you know what that means....
Here's Chip's Chicken Salad:
2 rotisserie chickens, deboned (shredded, or if you have a kitchen aid, see below)
1-2 tart apples, chopped
chopped celery (to taste)
chopped onion (to taste)
1/2 cup sunflower seeds (salted and roasted are best, then you don't have to salt it all)
1 cup raisins or halved grapes
1 cup mayo (for those of you who do not like the M word, try a little olive oil to moisten, and perhaps a little grainy mustard, which would be lovely with the grapes and apples)
Freshly ground pepper
Chip likes to throw it all into our Kitchen Aid and mix it until it is super-pulverised, making it perfect for kiddos Murmur's age to eat--and she loves it, let me tell you!).
August 29, 2007
Oops....a forgotten Recipe
So, I had said I was going to post a recipe, earlier, and forgot (related to cooking for a lady who had a baby)
"Stuffed Shells Casserole"
If you find it annoying to spend the time making manicotti or stuffed shells because of all the stuffing that is involved, this will be right up your alley, as it is mine.
Stir together:
24 oz cottage cheese or ricotta
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lb chopped, frozen spinach (thawed, preferably)
2 tblspoons chopped, fresh herbs (choose from basil, parsley, oregano, thyme, marjoram)
6oz grated mozzeralla
salt and pepper to taste
Boil 1lb little pasta shells, and stir (while hot is fine) into above mix.
Pour mixture into a pyrex baking dish (at least a 9X13"). Top with a Marinara Sauce of your choice, and 6 more oz. mozzerella. Bake in a 350F oven until bubbly (and cheese is beginning to golden). Serve with bread and a hearty salad. Macky has loved this dish since she started eating solids...
Bon appetit!
"Stuffed Shells Casserole"
If you find it annoying to spend the time making manicotti or stuffed shells because of all the stuffing that is involved, this will be right up your alley, as it is mine.
Stir together:
24 oz cottage cheese or ricotta
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 lb chopped, frozen spinach (thawed, preferably)
2 tblspoons chopped, fresh herbs (choose from basil, parsley, oregano, thyme, marjoram)
6oz grated mozzeralla
salt and pepper to taste
Boil 1lb little pasta shells, and stir (while hot is fine) into above mix.
Pour mixture into a pyrex baking dish (at least a 9X13"). Top with a Marinara Sauce of your choice, and 6 more oz. mozzerella. Bake in a 350F oven until bubbly (and cheese is beginning to golden). Serve with bread and a hearty salad. Macky has loved this dish since she started eating solids...
Bon appetit!
Bread and bread
I have another bread recipe to give, and another thought about "daily bread". It is a bit garbled, however, at the moment, we'll see how it comes out (the joy of being an external processor is that you are often suprised by what you find on the page after you've written it, but you are also often foiled if you are interrupted and lose your train of thought, which threatens to happen this morning with Miss Macky and her need for at least half of my brain---and justifiably so).
Well, we have been looking and looking at jobs, and the Lord has been very clearly closing doors, and opening others. We still don't have things concretely laid down yet. Praise the Lord that He has also shown us very clearly that He is the provider of our daily needs, bread and "bread" (food and money). We have not run out our emergency fund yet, and some strong possiblities of jobs (which will start in about 2 weeks time) have come on the horizon: tutoring for me, and caddying (possibly) for Chip.
The tutoring jobs I've found look like they could give us a good income, as long as we don't have any transportation conflict or schedule conflict with Chip and the girls. I am hopeful. Chip, who as most of you know loves golf, has found a connection to one of the best courses in town, and the man who runs the caddying program supposedly loves to hire seminary students. There are other awesome details like them getting paid regardless of if they are able to work a round, and being able to study while waiting. In the meantime, we are keeping simple house. We already ate a ton of vegetarian, so that's no problem.
And we are coming up with some very creative (and definitely still flavorful) recipes. Are you surprised that they are mostly related to bread? I won't offend your intelligence by listing the recipes for french toast, croutons, and other "normal" type things, unless any of you are unfamiliar or need a new way of doing those staples. But this one was fairly new to me, and I gave it our own twist:
Panzanella (Bread Salad):
In a large bowl, combine:
1lb ripe tomatoes (we used grape tomatoes, but you can use anything) diced large, or cut into 1/2" pieces
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
1 or more cloves garlic, minced
4 tblspns olive oil
1 cup cannellini (white kidney) beans
Salt and pepper to taste
Add:
1 1/2 cups (or one medium sized loaf ) dry bread (2-3 days old is best) [We used an Italian style cheese loaf which complemented the salad perfectly] that has been prepared by cutting into 1/2" chunks and soaked in water for 15 minutes and squeezed dry.
Toss all ingredients together and serve at room temperature.
Can add mozzerella (cubed) to the mix, but I didn't find it necessary since we used cheese bread---so flavorful!
We ate this recipe after having played outside in the heat for about 2 hours, and we were really glad to not have to cook anything once inside. Try it and see what you think!
Well, we have been looking and looking at jobs, and the Lord has been very clearly closing doors, and opening others. We still don't have things concretely laid down yet. Praise the Lord that He has also shown us very clearly that He is the provider of our daily needs, bread and "bread" (food and money). We have not run out our emergency fund yet, and some strong possiblities of jobs (which will start in about 2 weeks time) have come on the horizon: tutoring for me, and caddying (possibly) for Chip.
The tutoring jobs I've found look like they could give us a good income, as long as we don't have any transportation conflict or schedule conflict with Chip and the girls. I am hopeful. Chip, who as most of you know loves golf, has found a connection to one of the best courses in town, and the man who runs the caddying program supposedly loves to hire seminary students. There are other awesome details like them getting paid regardless of if they are able to work a round, and being able to study while waiting. In the meantime, we are keeping simple house. We already ate a ton of vegetarian, so that's no problem.
And we are coming up with some very creative (and definitely still flavorful) recipes. Are you surprised that they are mostly related to bread? I won't offend your intelligence by listing the recipes for french toast, croutons, and other "normal" type things, unless any of you are unfamiliar or need a new way of doing those staples. But this one was fairly new to me, and I gave it our own twist:
Panzanella (Bread Salad):
In a large bowl, combine:
1lb ripe tomatoes (we used grape tomatoes, but you can use anything) diced large, or cut into 1/2" pieces
1/4 cup finely chopped red onion
1/4 cup chopped fresh basil
1 or more cloves garlic, minced
4 tblspns olive oil
1 cup cannellini (white kidney) beans
Salt and pepper to taste
Add:
1 1/2 cups (or one medium sized loaf ) dry bread (2-3 days old is best) [We used an Italian style cheese loaf which complemented the salad perfectly] that has been prepared by cutting into 1/2" chunks and soaked in water for 15 minutes and squeezed dry.
Toss all ingredients together and serve at room temperature.
Can add mozzerella (cubed) to the mix, but I didn't find it necessary since we used cheese bread---so flavorful!
We ate this recipe after having played outside in the heat for about 2 hours, and we were really glad to not have to cook anything once inside. Try it and see what you think!
August 26, 2007
Whoa, what just happened?
Well, we have our computer back...ahem, I should say Chip's computer, sorry....good to be back online again at the old appartment, but my goodness, things seem to be flying fast by us right now as all the other students have arrived and orientation has begun.
We dressed up for the President's Reception on Friday night, which was great because we had found a suit jacket, slacks, and a blazer for Chip to choose from at the Free Store (put that on the list of very cool stuff with Free Bread Mondays and Fridays). He looked dashing, and I figured out something, though it can be rather difficult for a gal to figure out how dressy "semi-formal" is supposed to be. I did fine, was about middle of the pack in terms of formality, so no worries there.
I like the looks of the faculty (who were all introduced)....there were many more students than I realized starting along with us this fall: something like 166. Not bad for Covenant
But it is all extremely overwhelming, and as we are still only 3 1/2 weeks into our stint here, I am not feeling up to speed. We don't have jobs sorted out, and since the routine hasn't begun, we just kinda float through the days and don't know what to do with ourselves. After we've run out of the phone calls we have to make (in order to get one more step into the process with jobs and interviews etc...) we just try to have some semblance of routine with the girls, and wear Macky out enough that she'll sleep at night, dear athletic girl...
Anyway, the other purpose for this little entry (which otherwise seems to have no real purpose, sorry for that) is to announce that my sister leaves for Europe tomorrow (man do I miss her), and will be starting a blog to record what she can while she travels. If you get bored of my recipes and endless blather on transitioning to student life once more, you can visit her through my links....she will be the link called "i miss her".
Tomorrow I cook for a family on campus that just had a new baby....I'll post the recipe then.
We dressed up for the President's Reception on Friday night, which was great because we had found a suit jacket, slacks, and a blazer for Chip to choose from at the Free Store (put that on the list of very cool stuff with Free Bread Mondays and Fridays). He looked dashing, and I figured out something, though it can be rather difficult for a gal to figure out how dressy "semi-formal" is supposed to be. I did fine, was about middle of the pack in terms of formality, so no worries there.
I like the looks of the faculty (who were all introduced)....there were many more students than I realized starting along with us this fall: something like 166. Not bad for Covenant
But it is all extremely overwhelming, and as we are still only 3 1/2 weeks into our stint here, I am not feeling up to speed. We don't have jobs sorted out, and since the routine hasn't begun, we just kinda float through the days and don't know what to do with ourselves. After we've run out of the phone calls we have to make (in order to get one more step into the process with jobs and interviews etc...) we just try to have some semblance of routine with the girls, and wear Macky out enough that she'll sleep at night, dear athletic girl...
Anyway, the other purpose for this little entry (which otherwise seems to have no real purpose, sorry for that) is to announce that my sister leaves for Europe tomorrow (man do I miss her), and will be starting a blog to record what she can while she travels. If you get bored of my recipes and endless blather on transitioning to student life once more, you can visit her through my links....she will be the link called "i miss her".
Tomorrow I cook for a family on campus that just had a new baby....I'll post the recipe then.
August 17, 2007
Enter Anxiety
Don't ask me why, as there has been no new thing to cause me to react with worry, but I am suddenly taken with a major onset of anxiety.
We have been computer-less for the past couple of days, making it extremely difficult to do any of the now normal online aspects of our daily schedule. And perhaps I haven't been able to process as well because of no blog--perhaps that is part of it, but I think there is something deeper going on here, and I feel like I've been attacked.
So, I am asking for prayer, for my heart to be in that place of trust that I have known in the past 2 weeks, and to which I would like to return.
And as I write, I am getting a sense of the other things that are troubling me. Yesterday was the first in a series of days in which people and trucks with their things began to arrive. (Gosh, that was a clumsy sentence--please forgive me, I'm just vomiting words right now in an attempt to get this junk off my heart). I realize that I feel the urge (in some ways good, others out of a wrongful sense of duty) to help everyone and I'm feeling anxious that I can't do more right now.
At least Murmur wasn't up last night (the score is 10 and 5--and we're all losing), but Macky was (which means of the 15 nights we've been here, I think we've had 2 full night's sleep, uninterrupted by the one or the other). Macky got sick for no apparent reason at 2am, and dear Chip got up with her and let me sleep. However, that meant he needed a nap first thing this morning with Murmur. And still we look at one another with bleary eyes that communicate that neither of us are caught up yet.
Back to the ever-growing community: we have several new babies, about a dozen new families/singles coming in this weekend, and lots of tired people with lots of needs. Please, if you consider it, pray for us all to have the strength of the Holy Spirit as we seek to love one another well and help in the adjusting to a new life and the challenges that will face us over the next few years.
I say all that, but I also want to say: it is good! Yesterday, for example, I went produce hunting with our admissions assisstant, in which we had the most hysterical gallavanting around Creve Coeur/Chesterfield experience, and wound up at the "farm" of an old hippie who had the most bizarre stories to share, and the most beautiful tomatoes. I bought about 3lbs, and returned to cook for my brand-new neighbors and their 2 kids (once again, in the age slot of most of the children around: >1 and 2-ish). Here is what we ate:
Pasta alla Puttanesca (if you know what that means, you will laugh...let me know if you don't, and I'll let you in on the "joke")
Ingredients:
1Lb pasta (spaghetti or penne work well)
2 cans tuna (chunk light packed in oil works best)
3 fresh tomatoes, cored and chopped small
1 handful olives (or olives and capers), chopped
2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 handful basil, chopped
8 anchovies (i didn't have any, so i used 2 dashes worcestershire sauce, which has anchovy in it)
olive oil
juice of 1 lemon
salt and pepper to taste
empty the cans of tuna (drained) into a bowl and pour lemon juice over. add salt and pepper to taste and chopped basil--allow to marinate while you do next step. start your pasta (salt the water). now throw a couple of glugs of olive oil into a pan, and once it has warmed up, throw the anchovies or worcesterchire into the pan to "melt" (we loved the way it tasted with the w.s., so if you don't like the extra fishyness of anchovies, try it that way). Now, usually you would throw the capers, garlic, and olives in next, but I threw it all in together by mistake, but we loved the result. We cooked it all only as long as the pasta was cooking (about 5 minutes) and everything remained silky and nice. Taste the tuna/tomato/olive mixture after it has cooked for a minute, correct the seasoning, and then toss it over your pasta with a little olive oil or any reserved pasta water, if you like it looser (it is all according to your preferences, so mess around with it till it pleases you).
We made another dish too, in case the little ones didn't like fish, but I'll have to save that for another day.
The day ended with great, deep conversation, and the return of my downstairs neighbor, Jen. She came to collect me around 8:30, and we did what I've been longing to do (on a routine basis) which was: we worked and talked together. Last night's chore was to core and peel her lot of fresh tomatoes for canning. Lovely.
Wow, upon reflection, what is there to worry about? God is good, has given us an amazing community to live in, and He will provide all our needs....but I still need your prayers....
We have been computer-less for the past couple of days, making it extremely difficult to do any of the now normal online aspects of our daily schedule. And perhaps I haven't been able to process as well because of no blog--perhaps that is part of it, but I think there is something deeper going on here, and I feel like I've been attacked.
So, I am asking for prayer, for my heart to be in that place of trust that I have known in the past 2 weeks, and to which I would like to return.
And as I write, I am getting a sense of the other things that are troubling me. Yesterday was the first in a series of days in which people and trucks with their things began to arrive. (Gosh, that was a clumsy sentence--please forgive me, I'm just vomiting words right now in an attempt to get this junk off my heart). I realize that I feel the urge (in some ways good, others out of a wrongful sense of duty) to help everyone and I'm feeling anxious that I can't do more right now.
At least Murmur wasn't up last night (the score is 10 and 5--and we're all losing), but Macky was (which means of the 15 nights we've been here, I think we've had 2 full night's sleep, uninterrupted by the one or the other). Macky got sick for no apparent reason at 2am, and dear Chip got up with her and let me sleep. However, that meant he needed a nap first thing this morning with Murmur. And still we look at one another with bleary eyes that communicate that neither of us are caught up yet.
Back to the ever-growing community: we have several new babies, about a dozen new families/singles coming in this weekend, and lots of tired people with lots of needs. Please, if you consider it, pray for us all to have the strength of the Holy Spirit as we seek to love one another well and help in the adjusting to a new life and the challenges that will face us over the next few years.
I say all that, but I also want to say: it is good! Yesterday, for example, I went produce hunting with our admissions assisstant, in which we had the most hysterical gallavanting around Creve Coeur/Chesterfield experience, and wound up at the "farm" of an old hippie who had the most bizarre stories to share, and the most beautiful tomatoes. I bought about 3lbs, and returned to cook for my brand-new neighbors and their 2 kids (once again, in the age slot of most of the children around: >1 and 2-ish). Here is what we ate:
Pasta alla Puttanesca (if you know what that means, you will laugh...let me know if you don't, and I'll let you in on the "joke")
Ingredients:
1Lb pasta (spaghetti or penne work well)
2 cans tuna (chunk light packed in oil works best)
3 fresh tomatoes, cored and chopped small
1 handful olives (or olives and capers), chopped
2 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
1 handful basil, chopped
8 anchovies (i didn't have any, so i used 2 dashes worcestershire sauce, which has anchovy in it)
olive oil
juice of 1 lemon
salt and pepper to taste
empty the cans of tuna (drained) into a bowl and pour lemon juice over. add salt and pepper to taste and chopped basil--allow to marinate while you do next step. start your pasta (salt the water). now throw a couple of glugs of olive oil into a pan, and once it has warmed up, throw the anchovies or worcesterchire into the pan to "melt" (we loved the way it tasted with the w.s., so if you don't like the extra fishyness of anchovies, try it that way). Now, usually you would throw the capers, garlic, and olives in next, but I threw it all in together by mistake, but we loved the result. We cooked it all only as long as the pasta was cooking (about 5 minutes) and everything remained silky and nice. Taste the tuna/tomato/olive mixture after it has cooked for a minute, correct the seasoning, and then toss it over your pasta with a little olive oil or any reserved pasta water, if you like it looser (it is all according to your preferences, so mess around with it till it pleases you).
We made another dish too, in case the little ones didn't like fish, but I'll have to save that for another day.
The day ended with great, deep conversation, and the return of my downstairs neighbor, Jen. She came to collect me around 8:30, and we did what I've been longing to do (on a routine basis) which was: we worked and talked together. Last night's chore was to core and peel her lot of fresh tomatoes for canning. Lovely.
Wow, upon reflection, what is there to worry about? God is good, has given us an amazing community to live in, and He will provide all our needs....but I still need your prayers....
August 14, 2007
Meditating on the Psalms
I am finally working out the old muscle related to daily devotions. It has been hard to be in the habit since the era of child-rearing has begun--but what with all the unknown of what this time will hold and the threating thunder of the worry-storm in the distance, I realize I need to start running again...running back to Christ consistently. So I'm in training.
You can pray for me, if you think about it, 'cause I'm not a runner, generally speaking (both metaphorically and literally). I hate to run, and spiritually speaking, that looks like me doing it all in my own strength. However, I need to understand the reality of Christ and His gospel on a day to day basis.
I had already thought about a month ago that if I were to do a book study, I would do Psalms because David really knew how to pray--and really understood his need for the Holy Spirit at every hour of his life. I started at random, and have been encouraged each time I've read, but on Sunday Pastor Vander Haas' sermon really challenged me to go at it with more thought....literally, meditation. He spoke on Psalm 63, and discussed the themes of finding, feeding, and following. One thing he mentioned in particular had to do with our disconnection as a culture with what restful meditation (on God's word) looks like. I figured adding a tiny bit of structure to my readings (i.e. pick up on one thing that jumps out at me from each passage and reflect on it) might be good. So, I also thought I ought to start from the beginning.
Well, I am sharing with you my reflection from today because I hope it will be encouraging to you, but it is also another plea for prayer that I will continue to believe it. Here is a quote from my journal:
"Today is Psalm 3. This is what strikes me about it today:
'I lay down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me."
I realize that the only reason I continue to breathe and have life is because the Lord wills it to be so. This is the very basic unit of His provision for me: the fact that I have any life at all is only because of His hand upholding me. Why would we not trust Him to take care of our daily needs for life--our food and shelter? It is only by His volition and grace that we live, and He will provide for us as long as He wants us to remain. And if He wills that we die, as Paul says, it is gain. What He wants for us is not our anxious efforts to make things happen and to figure out how we are going to make ends meet and cling to the things of earth. He wants our hearts, He wants us to fill ourselves up with Him, He wants us to follow Him (on a crazy adventure). Lead on, oh Lord."
If you were hungry for a recipe tonight, sorry--but I hope you found something more satisfying here.
You can pray for me, if you think about it, 'cause I'm not a runner, generally speaking (both metaphorically and literally). I hate to run, and spiritually speaking, that looks like me doing it all in my own strength. However, I need to understand the reality of Christ and His gospel on a day to day basis.
I had already thought about a month ago that if I were to do a book study, I would do Psalms because David really knew how to pray--and really understood his need for the Holy Spirit at every hour of his life. I started at random, and have been encouraged each time I've read, but on Sunday Pastor Vander Haas' sermon really challenged me to go at it with more thought....literally, meditation. He spoke on Psalm 63, and discussed the themes of finding, feeding, and following. One thing he mentioned in particular had to do with our disconnection as a culture with what restful meditation (on God's word) looks like. I figured adding a tiny bit of structure to my readings (i.e. pick up on one thing that jumps out at me from each passage and reflect on it) might be good. So, I also thought I ought to start from the beginning.
Well, I am sharing with you my reflection from today because I hope it will be encouraging to you, but it is also another plea for prayer that I will continue to believe it. Here is a quote from my journal:
"Today is Psalm 3. This is what strikes me about it today:
'I lay down and sleep; I wake again because the Lord sustains me."
I realize that the only reason I continue to breathe and have life is because the Lord wills it to be so. This is the very basic unit of His provision for me: the fact that I have any life at all is only because of His hand upholding me. Why would we not trust Him to take care of our daily needs for life--our food and shelter? It is only by His volition and grace that we live, and He will provide for us as long as He wants us to remain. And if He wills that we die, as Paul says, it is gain. What He wants for us is not our anxious efforts to make things happen and to figure out how we are going to make ends meet and cling to the things of earth. He wants our hearts, He wants us to fill ourselves up with Him, He wants us to follow Him (on a crazy adventure). Lead on, oh Lord."
If you were hungry for a recipe tonight, sorry--but I hope you found something more satisfying here.
August 13, 2007
our first guests
Tonight we are hosting the first guests to our new appartment: Amy and Anna. They are headed out west, and what better way to go than through the city of the Arch, gateway to the west!
And, what better time to try out a new recipe (I know that one is not supposed to try out new recipes on guests, but without fail, I do it over and over again--sometimes to disastrous conclusions, but not tonight! Tonight's recipe was very comforting, and went like this:
Savory Bread Pudding
1/2 an onion, chopped
5-8 mushrooms (depending on size--ours were rather large) sliced
1 head broccoli, slightly steamed ahead of time to barely soften and diced
1 loaf "stale" (dry) bread (we used sundried tomato bread from, you guessed it, Free Bread Friday
3 cups 1/2 and 1/2 (or some mix of milk, heavy cream, and 1/2 and 1/2 to add to 3 cups)
5 eggs, beaten
butter
salt and pepper
Pre-heat oven to 350. Soften the onion and mushroom pieces in butter or olive oil over medium heat, and remove to a bowl. Add broccoli pieces to bowl, and set aside. Chop bread into slightly larger than bite-sized pieces and swipe through softened butter (enough to coat one side of the bread). Place a layer of buttered bread pieces into the bottom of a souffle-style pan (I used a 3 quart stainless steel pot) that you have prepped by buttering on all sides to prevent sticking. After one layer of bread, add a layer of veggies. Alternate layers to just shy of the top of the pan (the last layer should be bread). Then, mix cream, eggs, salt and pepper (to taste) and pour over layers. Push the concoction down with the flat of your hand to ensure that all the bread is soaking in the custard.
Place in the middle rack of the oven for 45 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and the custard has set. Allow to rest for 15 minutes, and serve.
This would be excellent with either parmesan grated overtop or a bechamel sauce (or cheesy, white sauce) which would make it perfectly rich for a complete meal. Try other ingredients in place of my suggestions, though I must say, the broccoli was excellent! Some ideas include cheese, ham, or other veggies (think of this like an easy quiche). Enjoy!
Oh, and by the way, got a TON of stuff done today, and a walk around campus with the girls, AND a picnic lunch all due to the grace of a slightly cooler day today! Thank you Lord for storms and the refreshing breeze the one last night brought us, for a time!
And, what better time to try out a new recipe (I know that one is not supposed to try out new recipes on guests, but without fail, I do it over and over again--sometimes to disastrous conclusions, but not tonight! Tonight's recipe was very comforting, and went like this:
Savory Bread Pudding
1/2 an onion, chopped
5-8 mushrooms (depending on size--ours were rather large) sliced
1 head broccoli, slightly steamed ahead of time to barely soften and diced
1 loaf "stale" (dry) bread (we used sundried tomato bread from, you guessed it, Free Bread Friday
3 cups 1/2 and 1/2 (or some mix of milk, heavy cream, and 1/2 and 1/2 to add to 3 cups)
5 eggs, beaten
butter
salt and pepper
Pre-heat oven to 350. Soften the onion and mushroom pieces in butter or olive oil over medium heat, and remove to a bowl. Add broccoli pieces to bowl, and set aside. Chop bread into slightly larger than bite-sized pieces and swipe through softened butter (enough to coat one side of the bread). Place a layer of buttered bread pieces into the bottom of a souffle-style pan (I used a 3 quart stainless steel pot) that you have prepped by buttering on all sides to prevent sticking. After one layer of bread, add a layer of veggies. Alternate layers to just shy of the top of the pan (the last layer should be bread). Then, mix cream, eggs, salt and pepper (to taste) and pour over layers. Push the concoction down with the flat of your hand to ensure that all the bread is soaking in the custard.
Place in the middle rack of the oven for 45 minutes, or until the top is golden brown and the custard has set. Allow to rest for 15 minutes, and serve.
This would be excellent with either parmesan grated overtop or a bechamel sauce (or cheesy, white sauce) which would make it perfectly rich for a complete meal. Try other ingredients in place of my suggestions, though I must say, the broccoli was excellent! Some ideas include cheese, ham, or other veggies (think of this like an easy quiche). Enjoy!
Oh, and by the way, got a TON of stuff done today, and a walk around campus with the girls, AND a picnic lunch all due to the grace of a slightly cooler day today! Thank you Lord for storms and the refreshing breeze the one last night brought us, for a time!
August 11, 2007
Saturday night and everything is alright
Free bread Fridays means pizza Saturdays.
The seminary gets bread from a local backery (St. Louis Bread Co.--also known as Panera) on Mondays and Fridays at about 9pm after they have closed down. There has been a ton to choose from, and our family is about to gain 10lbs each with all the bagels, cookies, foccaccia, sour dough etc....
They use the foccaccia (which doesn't look like it is spelled right) for paninis, but I use them to make pizzas. I slice the loaves in half so that there is a nice open-face upon which to spread sauce (which soaks in to the crust this way--particularly nice with an olive oil base which becomes all crunchy and bruscetta-like). Then I put grated mozzerella, and to top them off we pull all the odds and ends out of the fridge and make about 4 different types of pizza out of them. Nice way to use left-overs.
Tonight's selection:
4 cheese/garlic/olive oil base with mushrooms, onions, bacon and a good grind of black pepper (chip's fave)
Mushroom and onion on tomato sauce base
olive oil base with roasted eggplant puree, feta, and kalamata olives
and another tomato-based pizza with onions, olives, and orange bell-peppers
If you think of it, please pray for our sleep--the girls have not been transitioning smoothly. We've had some good days, but we've had many rough nights. My throat is starting to feel as though I've got a little something coming on, and Macky is stir-crazy with all this heat. Murmur can't decide whether to nurse or not (again, the heat I expect). That just throws me for all sorts of loops, and what with still trying to find jobs, health insurance, and finish unpacking and organizing the last little bit, we are just exhausted. I must say that He is definitely showing us that He's got us in His hands. Pray that we would know that clearly and run to Him often...always.
good night.
The seminary gets bread from a local backery (St. Louis Bread Co.--also known as Panera) on Mondays and Fridays at about 9pm after they have closed down. There has been a ton to choose from, and our family is about to gain 10lbs each with all the bagels, cookies, foccaccia, sour dough etc....
They use the foccaccia (which doesn't look like it is spelled right) for paninis, but I use them to make pizzas. I slice the loaves in half so that there is a nice open-face upon which to spread sauce (which soaks in to the crust this way--particularly nice with an olive oil base which becomes all crunchy and bruscetta-like). Then I put grated mozzerella, and to top them off we pull all the odds and ends out of the fridge and make about 4 different types of pizza out of them. Nice way to use left-overs.
Tonight's selection:
4 cheese/garlic/olive oil base with mushrooms, onions, bacon and a good grind of black pepper (chip's fave)
Mushroom and onion on tomato sauce base
olive oil base with roasted eggplant puree, feta, and kalamata olives
and another tomato-based pizza with onions, olives, and orange bell-peppers
If you think of it, please pray for our sleep--the girls have not been transitioning smoothly. We've had some good days, but we've had many rough nights. My throat is starting to feel as though I've got a little something coming on, and Macky is stir-crazy with all this heat. Murmur can't decide whether to nurse or not (again, the heat I expect). That just throws me for all sorts of loops, and what with still trying to find jobs, health insurance, and finish unpacking and organizing the last little bit, we are just exhausted. I must say that He is definitely showing us that He's got us in His hands. Pray that we would know that clearly and run to Him often...always.
good night.
setting up house
Well, I am trying to get this thing together so I can keep in touch with people, but of course things are not going as smoothly as I had in mind....For some reason, email does not want to cooperate, and while I beat my head against that, I get further and further away from just sitting down and writing, which is what I've really wanted to do all day.
So, now that I am in knots and of no mind to write, I must do it anyway; at least to relieve a bit of this pressure building in my brain.
We have been in St. Louis now for just a bit over a week. The kitchen is unpacked and mostly organized. Our rooms are basically done, which is good since the girls really need their little nest to be free of chaos. It has been difficult for them both. Murmur was up at 3am 6 nights of 9, and of course woke up her sister, who climbed in bed with us. Macky, well, she has just been impossible. Of course my mom WOULD say a day before we were leaving town that she thought 2 was the worst age for a move. Great. Dear girl has been fighting with those who would be her new friends. You see, everyone (or at least 70% of the families) on campus have children our kiddos' ages. Probably half of them have exactly 2 kids exactly our kids' ages.
The family just downstairs from us, for example, has two girls, one will be 3 in November, the other just turned 1 this month. The mom and I plan on taking advantage of this proximity and do babysitting swap--which sounds great, as long as we can keep our two almost-3-year-olds from provoking one another the entire time....Hilarity, let me tell you.
In other news, I have discovered Trader Joe's, which may prove to be my new favorite grocer. Reminds me of Amazing Savings, only with a little more consistency, therefore a bit more expensive. But rather more like a discount GreenLife than anything else. Good stuff. I have also had a chance to so some odd work, which I'm about to go do when hubby returns. Nice to have a project to take me outside of the appartment, where things like emptying book boxes and writing meal plans and organizing clothes stare me in the face waiting to be completed. Ah, I must learn to stop sometimes....Still learning that one.
Well, one of the other things I'm going to try and do on this blog just for the fun is to include any recipes we may have made up or particularly enjoyed while being here. Today's is from last night's Indian meal, and is vegetarian:
Curried Spinach and Potato with Curd Cheese (this would be called something like "Aloo Sag Panir")
chop and saute 1 white or yellow onion over med heat in 6 tblspns vegetable oil until softened
add 1 tsp of a curry option (garam masala, or yellow curry for ideas. we used yellow curry which is turmeric based,
and i would highly recommend that choice) and cook for 2-5 minutes until very fragrant.
add 1lb potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2" pieces, salt to taste; stir well and cover, cook for 10 minutes
add 1lb chopped spinach (if frozen, try to completely thaw before adding, but not necessary) and cook until potatoes
are tender
now add about a cup of well-drained cottage cheese (easier than trying to find panir)--use a cheese cloth if you have
one, but not necessary and stir well.
My girls loved this. It is almost like an Indian version of creamed spinach, but the potatoes add a nice texture. Also, potatoes prepared like this are similar in size and texture to the Indian cheese called panir, while the flavor comes from the cottage cheese. Enjoy!
So, now that I am in knots and of no mind to write, I must do it anyway; at least to relieve a bit of this pressure building in my brain.
We have been in St. Louis now for just a bit over a week. The kitchen is unpacked and mostly organized. Our rooms are basically done, which is good since the girls really need their little nest to be free of chaos. It has been difficult for them both. Murmur was up at 3am 6 nights of 9, and of course woke up her sister, who climbed in bed with us. Macky, well, she has just been impossible. Of course my mom WOULD say a day before we were leaving town that she thought 2 was the worst age for a move. Great. Dear girl has been fighting with those who would be her new friends. You see, everyone (or at least 70% of the families) on campus have children our kiddos' ages. Probably half of them have exactly 2 kids exactly our kids' ages.
The family just downstairs from us, for example, has two girls, one will be 3 in November, the other just turned 1 this month. The mom and I plan on taking advantage of this proximity and do babysitting swap--which sounds great, as long as we can keep our two almost-3-year-olds from provoking one another the entire time....Hilarity, let me tell you.
In other news, I have discovered Trader Joe's, which may prove to be my new favorite grocer. Reminds me of Amazing Savings, only with a little more consistency, therefore a bit more expensive. But rather more like a discount GreenLife than anything else. Good stuff. I have also had a chance to so some odd work, which I'm about to go do when hubby returns. Nice to have a project to take me outside of the appartment, where things like emptying book boxes and writing meal plans and organizing clothes stare me in the face waiting to be completed. Ah, I must learn to stop sometimes....Still learning that one.
Well, one of the other things I'm going to try and do on this blog just for the fun is to include any recipes we may have made up or particularly enjoyed while being here. Today's is from last night's Indian meal, and is vegetarian:
Curried Spinach and Potato with Curd Cheese (this would be called something like "Aloo Sag Panir")
chop and saute 1 white or yellow onion over med heat in 6 tblspns vegetable oil until softened
add 1 tsp of a curry option (garam masala, or yellow curry for ideas. we used yellow curry which is turmeric based,
and i would highly recommend that choice) and cook for 2-5 minutes until very fragrant.
add 1lb potatoes, peeled and chopped into 1/2" pieces, salt to taste; stir well and cover, cook for 10 minutes
add 1lb chopped spinach (if frozen, try to completely thaw before adding, but not necessary) and cook until potatoes
are tender
now add about a cup of well-drained cottage cheese (easier than trying to find panir)--use a cheese cloth if you have
one, but not necessary and stir well.
My girls loved this. It is almost like an Indian version of creamed spinach, but the potatoes add a nice texture. Also, potatoes prepared like this are similar in size and texture to the Indian cheese called panir, while the flavor comes from the cottage cheese. Enjoy!
August 10, 2007
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